Out of Gas

Whew, what a weekend. Did some thrifting to raise money for the ole wedding, and got some editing in, though I think I’m going to be making some rather more radical changes to my short story. I posted it to the Something Awful forums on Friday in hopes of getting some desperately needed feedback. I’m tired of working in a vacuum, especially when it comes to short fiction, and I got some VERY useful feedback. Snippets:

I liked this piece. It has some rough spots, but nothing that can’t be fixed…The biggest problem for me was confusion. There are a lot of minor characters, and they don’t really get any sort of introduction other than what we hear in the conversation between the brother and sister…the dialogue needs work in some places…personally, I get annoyed every time I’m faced with a character who’s sole motivation is evil. The father in this story has no backstory or context, he’s given no personality (other than that he’s evil) and frankly, I just don’t buy it…You do a good job of using Brad’s inner monologue. Some of my favorite bits of this story were his thoughts, almost as a second conversation with Kelly.  All in all, I liked this story. Again, I think it might work better as a chapter from a novel rather than as a short story, but it has promise. And I like the way you write, so keep writing.

Yeah, just seeing it laid out like that helps me to figure out some of what I struggle with when it comes to writing shorter fiction. A lot of the issues that are spoken about are problems that I specifically have when it comes to working in the short form – the evil father would be fleshed out a lot more (he’s not evil, just sick), and the minor characters would have a lot more to do. I see now that a lot of them stick out like a sore thumb, and I’m going to pull them together (combining the main character and a side character into one).

But yeah, tired and worn out. Taking a day off from writing before I dive back in.

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