Stumbling toward being awake, even at this late time of the morning. Missing a day from my schedule sucks, though I know that I needed it for some sense of closure. I wish that I had something clever to say, really, but right now I’m simply trying to get a feel for the ground beneath my feet, writing-wise. I can say that I was up late last night, unable to sleep, as my mind swirled over some issues that I’ve been experiencing with the, ahem, medical “community” and some of its less-than-ethical members. Not going into too many details here, but I found that I dodged a huge bullet and the organization that I thought was there basically no longer exists.
It got me thinking about how much we count on other people to be reliable within the operating threads of society and how often people turn out to be less-than-reliable. I used to think that the increasing amount of unreliable people was an indication of the world growing colder, of things falling apart, but now I’m fairly sure that people have always been this way and I’ve only just started to notice it. I wish I could say that I’m strong enough not to get angry and lament it when it happens to me, but I am, after all, only human.
What I have been doing, however, is to notice my frustration and feel it. While I may understand what leads someone to be so unreliable, I have decided that I deserve better than to have to live with that in my life, and so , I do what I can to work around those unreliable individuals. I also strive in my own life to be more reliable – to strengthen the social bonds and ties where I can. If we can do these small things, in our own ways, we make the world a better place. At least, that’s what I figure. I could be full of shit, who knows!